


With You

by RyanAckart



Series: Logan the Lone Courier - Part 1 [4]
Category: Fallout 3
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Harkness, Explicit Sexual Content, Logan is still very pro-synth lol, M/M, Top Lone Wanderer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-26 00:51:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17735882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyanAckart/pseuds/RyanAckart
Summary: In the midst of searching for his dad, Logan discovers A3-21's identity. Together they decide how to handle it





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me at **fairtomato.twitter.com**

“Move, wastelander!”

Logan stands still as two Brotherhood soldiers run past him to avoid getting trampled by their big metal suits. Then he runs off, out of the way as miniguns blaze and shower more super mutants with bullets. Logan swears the three of them killed a bunch already before he entered the Washington Monument. That guy better have information now that he nearly died in that damn museum to find the relay dish. Three Dog could’ve told him where his dad went easily. Who the fuck in good conscience sends someone barely out of a vault to super mutant territory? _Especially_ with all those Brotherhood assholes just standing around--why couldn’t one or two of them come here for the dish? Three Dog acts nice and talks about fighting the ‘Good Fight’ but this is fucked up and Logan’s pissed.

He hides out in a nook near another subway entrance and he wants to die thinking about going underground again. If he takes the same way back, at least the tunnel will be clear. Hopefully. The gunfire stops and he watches power armor in the distance return to their posts.

“Hey there, tourist.”

He flinches and spins around, seeing a ghoul woman sitting casually on a bench. “Uh, hey there. Where’d you come from? Aren’t you worried about the super mutants?”

“Nah, they don’t attack us ghouls. Guess they recognize us as something...different. It’s those Brotherhood types we have to look out for, they just shoot on sight. Luckily the super mutants keep them pretty distracted.”

His eyes widen. “Is this Underworld?”

“You’ve heard of us? That building’s the entrance, yeah. Smoothskins are allowed in as long as you keep your weapons holstered and don’t bother the residents.”

“Do you know Gob? He’s the one who told me about this place.”

“Sure, left a few years back seeking ‘adventure.’ What’s he up to now?”

“He works in a bar in Megaton. Just through these doors, right?”

“Yeah, go straight to the doors with the giant skull.”

“Great. I definitely need somewhere to rest after the last museum I visited.”

Logan wastes no time entering the building, not wanting to run into a new wave of enemies outside. He didn’t expect to randomly find Underworld like this but he’s curious to see where Gob is from. He wishes he could see the museum pre-war. If these giant animal replicas are any indication, it must’ve been fascinating.

Every ghoul in the vicinity stares at him when he steps into Underworld before one introduces himself. Winthrop gives him the standard introduction to most towns--don’t cause trouble. And don’t harass the ghouls. Otherwise he’s free to trade and hit up the bar.

“Is there a doctor here?”

“Yeah, the Chop Shop’s in the back. Don’t let the name fool you, Barrows knows what he’s doing.”

The trader is his first stop though because his back’s starting to ache hauling this extra loot from the museum around. At least his money situation isn’t quite so dire anymore. For now. Tulip tells him about the original exhibit, how it explored theories about the ‘afterlife’ but mostly based itself off one book.

“Do you have any copies?”

“Oh, sure. There’s a room full of them in back. I’ve read my copy multiple times. Here.” She reaches under the counter and hands him a copy of _Paradise Lost._

“Thanks. It’s harder than I thought it’d be to get books out here. I should get going.”

“Okay. Stop by again sometime.”

The only other thing of interest on this floor, besides the living quarters and bathrooms, is a set of doors labeled ‘The Chop Shop.’ Maybe this doctor will know more about the synth in Rivet City.

The very first thing to catch his attention is the large window--or more accurately, the glowing ghouls visible through the window.

“Hey. You need something?”

His head turns to a man, he sees a second person sitting at a terminal. “Hi, are you the doctor?”

“Yeah, I’m Barrows. What can I do for you?”

“I’m not injured but I am looking for information.” Logan explains what exactly he wants and to his surprise, Barrows provides him a holotape that’s different from the one Preston had.

“I don’t know the details but Winthrop might know more.”

“Really?”

“He might. I won’t charge for the recording, it’s just been sitting in a drawer anyways, but do you happen to have any spare organs?”

“E-excuse me?”

“My nurse and I are researching our ‘condition’ to better understand and possibly cure it someday. Samples from non-ghouls would help.”

“I...can part with a few vials of blood if you really need it. But that’s it.”

The nurse does draw some of his blood and a few minutes later, he’s walking out of the clinic with a piece of gauze taped over a vein. That was strange but no stranger than anything else that’s happened.

What he really wants to know is what Winthrop has to do with this. Someone tells him to look for him at Carol’s Place, which is upstairs. Carol? That’s Gob’s mom. Should he mention Gob? Of course he should, she’s probably been worried all these years. But he can’t tell her the truth about him being Moriarty’s slave. On the other hand, she’s not a child. She’s a grown adult who deserves the truth. But what’s the point in saying it if nothing can be done?

Logan hesitates before opening the door. He almost immediately hits a counter.

“A newcomer? Welcome to Carol’s Place. I’m Carol, what can I get you?”

“Hi, I’m just looking for someone right now. Uh, actually, do you know Gob?”

“Gob? Of course! He’s my son. Well, maybe not biologically, but I love him as if he was. How’s he doing?”

“He works at a bar in Megaton,” Logan partially lies. “Honestly, he saved my life. I got attacked by raiders outside of town and he carried me out of there.”

“Oh, I do wish he’d visit but he shouldn’t leave. It’ s much too dangerous.”

They talk a while longer and she tells him the story of how she became a ghoul. Logan can’t quite fathom being alive before the war. DC is a shadow of its former self, what’s it like being able to remember what it used to be? After their conversation, he finds Winthrop sitting alone in the next room.

“Hey, smoothie.”

Logan focuses on his plate for a moment, trying to figure out what that meat is. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure.”

“I talked to Barrows. I was in Rivet City not too long ago. Long story short,” his voice drops, “I’m looking for a synth and the doctor pointed me in your direction.”

“Hmm. What’s your interest in all that?”

“There’s this ancient fucker from some place called the Institute. He says the synth belongs to him but it sounds like slavery to me. I want to help this synth if they need it.”

Winthrop stares at him for a long time. “Let’s talk in my office.” He stuffs the rest of his food in his mouth then leads Logan out.

His office is downstairs, tucked away in a corner. The door closes and they’re alone.

“What else did this guy say?”

“His name is Zimmer and he’s always with his synth bodyguard. He said ‘A3-21’ is his most advanced synth, he was a courser whose job was to find other runaways until he left himself. And now Zimmer thinks he’s tracked them to Rivet City but he still can’t be quite sure so he’s been harassing everyone on the ship and I’m the first dummy to take him up on the job. But like I said, I want to help the synth, not him. He told me to ask doctors and techies, which is so fucking vague, but Barrows and the ship’s doctor each had a holotape from the synth so I don’t know.”

Winthrop takes a long sigh. “Maybe I’m a dummy too but..I believe you. I know who did his facial reconstruction and memory wipe.”

“Memory wipe? So he doesn’t even know who he is? Or--was.”

“Drastic measures need to be taken to ensure their safety and almost no one was willing to do the surgery. Except Pinkerton in Rivet City.”

“I’ve never heard of him.”

“He was the lead scientist there for years. Now he’s an irritable old bat living alone in the bow of that ship. If he’s even still there, who knows.”

“How do you know all this?”

“Someone from the Railroad contacted me.”

“What’s the Railroad?”

“It’s a group dedicated to freeing synths. They take the runaways in, helping them find new lives away from the Institute. We spent a long time searching for someone to do the surgery until we found Pinkerton. Talk to him.”

“Do you know who this synth is?”

“No. I don’t know where he ended up either.”

Logan senses he’s lying but doesn’t argue. He can confront this Pinkerton next time he’s in Rivet City. “Thank you.” He leaves. After he finally finds his dad, maybe he’ll try to find more information about the Railroad. But until then he just doesn’t have the time to dedicate to an organization.

He’s a bit surprised Winthrop told him about Pinkerton so easily. Does he truly believe him or is he purposely sending him astray? Depending on what Three Dog leads him next, he might find out soon. It’s early enough that he plans to return to GNR today, no point in wasting an extra day and caps on a bed. Crawling through old subway tunnels makes him sick but he has no choice. At least there aren’t any super mutants inside. As far as he knows.

He spends an hour resting and drinking at Carol’s. Most ghouls want nothing to do with him, and he can’t really blame them, but he’s able to strike a conversation with a couple sitting nearby and another guy named Quinn.

Underworld is marked on his map for the future and with his shotgun in hand, he leaves the town to return to GNR and learn where his dad is.

~~~~~

“He went to Rivet City? I was just there. The security chief said he hasn’t seen him.”

“I’m just relaying the information, kid. Maybe your pops took a detour or maybe that chief just didn’t see him. That tin can is large enough to avoid someone.”

Maybe. But cold dread pumps through his veins. What if his dad tried to go to Rivet City but something stopped him? Something deadly. The wasteland is in no short supply of fatal creatures.

“Uhh, you okay? You’re looking even paler than your dad right now.”

That makes him laugh a little. “I-I need to think about all this.” He forgets what Three Dog says in response but he makes his way to the rubbled room he slept in last night. His dad can’t be dead. There’s no way he left the vault just to fucking die alone in this hellhole. He abandoned Logan but Logan’s going to find him and yell at him and then they’re going to explore the Capital Wasteland together.

He slumps against a wall as his eyes fill with tears. He can’t assume the worst yet. He can’t. His dad has to be alive and he has a lot to answer for. First Moriarty and now Three Dog have said James isn’t from the vault. Neither is Logan. It was easy to deny it when just Moriarty mockingly told him but now Logan doesn’t know what to do. If he wasn’t born in the vault then where is he really from? Did...did James lie about his mom’s death too? Where did his parents grow up? Why did the overseer even let them in?

Logan’s head hurts and this time he doesn’t think it’s from any injury. He sinks down onto the dusty floor and cries. What’s the fucking truth? Is this Doctor Li going to help him or is she just going to make him run in more circles, risk his life some more just to tell him his dad’s long gone?

He unrolls his sleeping bag despite the sun barely setting yet and takes off his armor. He should be showering or doing laundry or eating. Instead he closes his eyes and makes himself miserable.

~~~~~

The exit is finally in sight and he couldn’t be happier. Outside is too open but these tunnels are too cramped. He just cleared this way days ago and only a few radroaches hassle him. He already feels pessimistic about this trip but the thought of seeing Harkness again is a pleasant one.

He leaves the station, desperately hoping no super mutants stray this way. The safety the ship provides is welcomed after the rough couple of days he’s had. His entire body aches, a film of sweat and grime feels permanently melted onto his skin, his stomach rumbles with hunger for a hot meal. He tried to eat the molerat everyone else was eating this morning at GNR, then he went to the restrooms and threw up. The soldiers made fun of the vault boy for being too used to his ‘fancy vault boy food.’ He went to his rubble room and ate junk food instead, trying to forget the taste and texture of ground molerat.

His hand absentmindedly runs along the railing up the ramp leading to the bridge. He briefly entertains the idea of popping rad-x and hopping into the river. The vault’s pool ran dry years ago but it existed long enough for him to learn how to swim--barely. It still makes no sense to him that they wasted water for that sort of thing but it was supposed to showcase just how efficient the vault was and how they had so many resources that they could afford to have even a swimming pool! But after the last time their water purifier broke down, it had to end. That was a very sad day in Vault 101, they had a period of mourning.

Logan could still probably drown if he tried to take a dip right now. Somehow falling off the bridge and plunging into the water is a small fear of his. He hurries across it when the guard lets him in. Pinkerton and the synth have to wait a bit. Li and his dad take priority.

Logan steps into the market, knowing he should just go to the stairwell and follow the signs instead. He’s a hypocrite. He doesn’t have time for the synth but he’s making time to catch a glimpse at Harkness?

He sees him walking through the market and almost calls out his name but doesn’t want to draw attention. He shuffles closer and when Harkness is in range, he says, “Excuse me, I’m looking for your most handsome security chief. Can you help me?” He immediately wants to kick himself--he doesn’t actually know if his feelings are returned or if Harkness even noticed their existence.

He spins around quickly, gets a glimpse of Logan, then laughs. “Always willing to help my favorite new resident. Though I have to admit, I didn’t expect you back so soon. Did you find GNR?”

“I did. Three Dog made me go to this fucking museum full of super mutants to get a relay dish--oh, and just to get to the building itself I had to fight more mutants but luckily I ran into some Brotherhood soldiers. Well, I wouldn’t have been so lucky if I was a ghoul. Then a behemoth came but I grabbed a fat man off a corpse and launched a fuckin’ nuke at it. An actual miniature nuke! That’s crazy! Why does that sort of thing exist?” He takes a deep breath. “I’m talking fast, aren’t I?”

“A bit but I understand you. Do you know where your dad is?”

“No. Three Dog told me he came here to talk to Doctor Li.”

Harkness frowns. “I see most people who come in during the day. Sometimes I miss them though. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“I’m worried,” Logan softly admits. “My dad left GNR over a week ago. If he hasn’t made it here by now...” A hand touches his shoulder.

“I didn’t see him and neither did Lana, but another guard easily could have. See what Li has to say. She could know exactly where he went.”

He nods. “Last time I tried to explore the science lab, I couldn’t get past that little office before the secretary kicked me out.”

“Heh, yeah, they’re pretty strict over there. They have to be, they grow food without radiation and loads of other science stuff I don’t know the details of. Here, I’ll go and vouch for you so they can let you in now instead of waiting for an appointment.”

“Thanks.”

Harkness informs another guard that he’ll return in a few then goes with Logan to the lab. Logan talks a lot, mostly about the Museum of Technology, partly as a distraction from his dad and partly because he has a lot to say. He tells him about the Washington Monument--how amazing it was to see DC from that vantage point and how awful it was to ride in that tiny elevator. He’s about to talk about Underworld but they arrive in the lab. Or at least they arrive in the office that leads to the science lab.

“Hello, Chief Harkness,” a woman at a desk greets.

“Hi. I need you to do me a favor and let my friend see Li. It’s important, it’s about his dad.”

“Sorry, Harkness, but I can’t do that. Even if I was to disregard standard protocol, Doctor Li was very clear that no one enters the laboratory today.They’re running sensitive experiments into the night and cannot be disturbed. However, I can see about giving this man an appointment.”

“How long’s that gonna take?” Logan asks. “I don’t have anymore time to waste. My dad could be dead out there.”

“I’m sorry about your father. But let’s start by getting your name.”

“Logan Reed. Wait, you can tell me if my dad came through here. He would’ve had to give his name too, right?”

“Correct. Usually I wouldn’t hand such details out but if the security chief is confirming your credibility, I will look the name up for you.”

“James Reed.” Is that the name his dad gave? Reed was Logan’s mom’s last name and James said he decided to start using it too when she died. They were never technically married. Would he use his own name again after all these years? He already abandoned him, would he toss his and his mom’s name in the trash too?

“Ah, yes. He arrived August 21st. He insisted I inform Doctor Li of his presence and when I did, she sought him out on the ship herself.”

“Do you know what he wanted?”

“I do not know the specifics but he did say it was to discuss restarting an important project from a long time ago.”

“Li’s mentioned a big project before,” Harkness says. “She never discussed details, just said they needed somewhere new after their previous research went nowhere.”

“It’s _very_ important I talk to her. I came all the way from Vault 101 to find my dad and she could be the only one who knows where he is. Please let me in.”

“Again, I cannot. Let me see if she has any time available tomorrow.”

She taps on the keyboard as Logan taps his boot against the floor. Just as he’s about to snap, she tells him she can squeeze him in tomorrow at noon.

Logan wants to fight and argue and cry. His dad is so close and now he has to wait another day? But he reminds himself that his dad came here a week ago. Whatever location Li may have, his dad’s probably already moved on. “Okay. Thank you.” He and Harkness leave the office.

“Do you, uh, do you want to talk about it?”

Logan looks up from the ground. “You probably need to go back to work. But thanks for the offer. And for coming with me.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“Just wait for tomorrow I guess. I have some other things I can take care of while I’m here. It’s just a relief to know my dad did make it to her lab. Last time, I just set my sleeping bag down in an abandoned room. But I sold some stuff in Underworld so I won’t feel guilty about renting a hotel room. Do you want to hang out at the hotel when your shift’s over?”

“Okay. How does eight sound?”

“Sounds pretty good.”

“And maybe this time, I can buy you a drink.”

Logan grins. “I’d like that. I’ll let you get going now. See ya.”

“Later.”

Can they call tonight a date? That’s what Logan’s going to call it. It’s the one thing he has to look forward to as he anxiously awaits his appointment with Li. His thoughts right now are like the Potomac and he’s about to drown.

What project? What project could be more important to James than his own fucking son?

He has to prepare questions for Li, prepare to do some grueling job in exchange for a few words that ultimately won’t lead him to his dad. He has to rent a hotel room. He has to find Pinkerton in the broken part of the ship. How does he even access it? There’s so much to do and he can’t handle-

Logan closes his eyes. He focuses on his breathing, the movement of his chest, which muscles are tense and which are relaxed. His hand touches the metal wall and the sensation sends a chill up his arm. The first thing he needs to do is walk to the Weatherly Hotel. That he _can_ handle.

He takes off his armor and decides to carry just a pistol on him when he goes out to explore the bow. The laser pistol he found in the museum fascinates him. He knows what an energy weapon is but he’s never seen one up close or shot one until yesterday. He doesn’t plan on fighting but the wasteland never cares what anybody wants.

He buys a meal and savors it before going outside. From the bridge, he looks at the bow and wonders how it severed. “Hey!” he calls to the stationed guard. “Does anyone ever go to that broken part of the ship?”

“No. It’s full of mirelurks.”

He’s fought a couple before and it was hell. Of course they hang out where he needs to go. “Am I allowed to explore or is it off-limits?”

“If you wanna be mirelurk food, be my guest.”

His t-shirt and pants definitely won’t provide adequate coverage and he needs something heavier than a laser pistol to take those stupid crabs out. They look like crabs anyways. It’d be interesting to compare mutated species to their pre-war counterparts. Why do all of them seem to be so fucking hostile?

Once he’s better equipped and buys some plastic bags to keep his pack dry just in case it gets wet, he ventures out. Farther down, he sees a walkway leading directly where he wants to go. What are the chances he’d be so lucky? It could be locked but maybe it isn’t and it’s just abandoned because of the mirelurks? He jogs over, runs into zero enemies, and tries to open it.

He glares at the rusted metal. “Of course you’re locked, twat.” Lockpicking is technically an option but he’s only good at simple locks. Anything more complicated and he just winds up with a box of broken bobby pins.

His helmet thuds against the door. Is he about to go swimming? He really, really doesn’t want to. What if he drowns? And if he doesn’t, then he still has to fight monsters all wet and irradiated. He debates simply not doing this. For a few moments, he considers returning to the ship and simply telling Zimmer to go fuck himself.

That’s not a real option though. This synth can’t be left to the cruel fate Zimmer and the Institute want to impose on him. Logan can’t give up. Maybe a guard will take pity on him and rescue him if he drowns and shouts loudly enough. He pops some rad-x and reties his bag. He stares at the murky water for a long time and wonders how deep it is. Then he jumps in.

Swimming during a hot August day might’ve been fun two hundred years ago. Right now his armor weighs him down, his clothes stick to his skin, and he keeps spitting filthy water out of his mouth. Is this going to infect him with a disease?

_‘Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm.’_

Panicking and flailing sure as fuck won’t help him. He moves his arms, kicks his legs, and concentrates on moving forward. When he finally reaches the broken section and can clasp onto something, he’s relieved. His eyes shut for a minute as he catches his breath and he pretends he’s twelve again, swimming with his friends. There’s a smile on his face until he remembers where he’s at.

The vault is far away now and he hopes Amata and Freddie are okay. What would they think if they could see him now? With them in mind, he continues. There’s no visible entrance. He sucks in a large breath and goes under. It’s a terrible feeling and the water is probably poison for his eyes, but he sees his way in.

“I’m going to fucking die here,” he murmurs and takes one last lungful of air before diving again.

The first time, he resurfaces. The second time, it happens again. His heart pounds so hard, he thinks it’ll come out of his chest. Or at least break a few ribs.

He pictures this synth being taken against his will, stolen away from his life, and dragged back to the Institute to be forced into slavery again. It enrages him and gives him the energy to attempt a third time.

He swims through the busted door, trying not to think about getting caught on something. A knife is latched onto his belt in case his bag snags. But nothing does. He scrambles to the surface and breathes deeply. He’s inside. And hopefully that door will unlock easily from this side.

He trudges to the next room, steps wet and heavy as he sloshes through nearly knee-high water. He stops moving but hears more splashing and hurries to prepare.

The first mirelurk takes some work but it goes down. When another chases him around, he needs a stimpak. The splashing doesn’t stop and he decides to inject himself with psycho. The drug kicks in almost immediately. He hears sounds clearer, the dark dreary ship brightens, he feels stronger. Are his bullets hitting this third mirelurk harder?

He’s panting by the time the room’s cleared but he feels good. If this stuff wasn’t potentially addictive, he’d rely on it more often. Now to find--does Pinkerton actually live down here? With all these overly aggressive creatures? If he swam and fought these things for nothing, he’ll be more pissed than usual.

But it’s more than mirelurks around and he nearly catches himself on fire in a giant explosion. If Pinkerton does still live here, he definitely knows he’s coming.

Mines, tripwires, and more mirelurks try to kill him and he’s about to fall over as the psycho wears off. He stumbles through one last door and looks around. This...

“Hey! What the hell are you doing here?”

Logan sees an old man walk down stairs against the opposite wall. “Are you Pinkerton?”

“Who wants to know?”

“My name’s Logan and I was hired by someone from the Institute to find a runaway synth. I’m not actually going to turn him in but I do want to help whoever this guy is.”

“A lot of words are coming out of your mouth but they don’t mean squat. What’s a synth? What’s the Institute? Why do I care? Oh wait, I don’t.”

“I know you did the surgery and wiped his memories. Winthrop in Underworld told me.”

“Does that damn ghoul just say anything to anyone who will listen? Yeah, sure, I did the surgery. I’m the only doctor with any talent in these parts.”

“Why’d you do it? I doubt he had any money.”

“Not even two caps to rub together but the Railroad handled that. Bunch of idealistic fools but caps are caps. Besides, no way was I passing up the opportunity to crack that Institute hardware open and play around with tech that advanced.”

“Well, who was it?”

“Don’t mistake me for the zombie, I’m not here to gossip over tea and mirelurk cakes. And don’t think you can threaten me, you’re about as intimidating as a bloatfly.”

“Oh, I won’t threaten you. But I refuse to leave until you help me help that synth. He’s in danger as long as Zimmer’s around.”

“Go away.”

Logan puts his bag down and sits on the floor. “No.”

“Suit yourself, hero.”

Logan waits a couple minutes before he begins talking--about life in the vault, about his friends in the vault, about the vault baseball team, about being a pip-boy programmer in the vault, about the tyrannical vault overseer, about how his dad escaped the vault--loudly. He’s spent most of his life in the vault so he has a lot to say. It only takes a few minutes before Pinkerton stops bothering to tell him to shut up.

Logan watches him try to type on his computer, repair some strange device, mess around with various items on the desk, all with a visible scowl on his face. When he gives up and walks through a doorway, Logan raises his voice and describes Megaton. He talks about meeting Moriarty, the book he’s helping Moira with, the raiders and the Super Duper Mart who gave him a concussion, clearing out the elementary school with Gob the next week. Then he moves on to Grayditch. And the ants. Bryan and Rivet City. He even tells him about the crush he has on Harkness.

Logan talks for at least an hour, relentless in his pursuit and knowing it’s only a matter of time before Pinkerton cracks.

“Fine!” he shouts from upstairs.

He has to keep himself from laughing when Pinkerton appears at the railing and points a finger at him.

“This counts as harassment, you know!”

“I’m just having a friendly conversation. You’re a very good listener!”

His head shakes as he walks down. “Everything’s on that terminal. Here’s the password. I didn’t truly erase his memories. They’re still buried in there but to retrieve them you have to say the activation code.”

“I assume it’s in here. Can I download these files?”

“Do whatever you want as long as you shut up and leave after this, vault dweller,” he mutters as he walks away.

Logan grins at the screen but it fades away as he clicks on Pinkerton’s notes to begin reading. He mentions acquiring a memory chip, how excited he is to witness Institute technology, his plans for the surgery. This is truly fascinating and Logan briefly entertains the idea of studying how to do this. He almost snorts, Pinkerton would strangle him by the end of the first day.

He clicks on the ‘before’ photo and tries to guess who he could possibly be. But Logan can’t make any confident guesses so he opens up the ‘after’ photo.

“No,” he gasps.

This is a picture of Harkness and _that_ he is absolutely certain of. Harkness is the synth. Harkness is the one in danger. Logan needs to get rid of Zimmer now.

He downloads everything to his pip-boy, his anxiety rising with each second it takes. He can’t let it show though. If Zimmer sees him acting frantically around Harkness, he’ll get suspicious. Then he’ll try to take him to the Institute against his will.

He refuses to let that happen.

“Thanks!” he says, hearing a grunt in response, and runs out. It’s a straight sprint to another door with a switch next to it. He’s grateful to see it’s the one leading outside. He stomps across the metal walkway and to the ramp, then stops to catch his breath. Maybe he should go to his hotel room to change, calm down, then confront Harkness. They’re supposed to meet tonight but he can’t keep quiet that long.

Logan keeps an eye out for Zimmer or Armitage but sees neither. He practically rips off all his armor and damp clothing. Once he’s in a dry outfit and boots that don’t squish when he walks, he goes to the market. The long elaborate script in his head vanishes when he sees Harkness.

“Hey, uh...is there a problem?”

Is he really so visibly shaken? Or in this short time is Harkness already able to sense when Logan’s off? He glances around and tries to take a step closer without drawing attention. But is anyone even looking? “I need to talk to you alone. It’s extremely important.”

“I suppose I can take another ‘break’ if it’s serious.”

“It is. Is there somewhere we can go?”

“There’s a break room for the guards through here. I’ll kick out whoever’s inside.”

A couple guards are there but they leave as soon as Harkness asks for privacy.

“Should I lock the door as a precaution?”

“Maybe,” Logan answers. He hears a click.

“Now what’s going on? Is there a crime or something to report?”

“I know who the synth is,” he blurts out. “Preston gave me that first holotape and when I was in Underworld, Barrows gave me another but then told me to talk to Winthrop so I did and he told me he helped a synth out by finding this old surgeon in Rivet City named Pinkerton. So that’s where I just went, Pinkerton still lives here in the broken bow of the ship and I had to swim underwater to get inside and fight a bunch of mirelurks and get through all these traps but I found him and it wasn’t exactly easy and my throat’s hoarse but he agreed to give me-”

“Logan. _Logan_. I can keep up with the fast talk but what’s going on? Li’s mentioned Pinkerton before but everyone just assumed he died. But he’s not and he knows the synth? So Zimmer isn’t just some nut? Okay, then do you know who the robot is?”

“It’s you.”

Harkness’ eyebrows knit. “Is this your idea of a joke? Because it’s not a very good one.”

“I’m serious. You left the Institute and I guess the Railroad found you somehow. Winthrop, a ghoul I met in Underworld, brought you to Pinkerton--he has a lab and a whole operating room down there. He’s also an asshole. He buried your real memories and replaced them, then gave you a new face and voice.”

“Logan...I like you and everything and I was looking forward to tonight but these outrageous claims are just too much. You’re telling me my entire life is fake. That’s impossible.”

“I have proof. Look.” He pulls up the files on his pip-boy and shows him. Harkness looks through them for a long time.

“This is...compelling evidence. But I still don’t believe it. Of course I’m human. I eat, I breathe. Hell, I cut myself shaving just this morning and started bleeding. Robots don’t bleed.”

“You’ve seen Armitage. He’s indistinguishable from anyone else here. Zimmer said A3-21 is the most advanced synth the Institute’s ever created.”

“No. I guess I can see why you’d think this is true but whoever gave you those files is lying. I don’t know why they want to cause problems with the security chief but...”

Logan takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Harkness. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think you were in grave danger. Activate A3-21 Recall Code Violet.”

Harkness’ face scrunches up like he’s in pain and he hunches over, hand slamming onto the table to keep himself balanced. Logan panics and for a moment, thinks he’s somehow broken him.

“I remember,” Harkness breathes and shakily stands upright. “You made me remember.”

He looks so unhappy and Logan can’t help instantly regretting this.

“I remember hunting down other synths, I remember escaping, getting found by the Railroad, letting Pinkerton wipe my memory and change my appearance. All of it. If you found the truth, what’s to stop other people? It’s not safe for me here anymore.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know. Rivet City isn’t safe. I thought I was far enough from the Commonwealth.”

“But if you suddenly disappear, won’t that sort of look suspicious? Zimmer’s desperate, he might go after you just in case.”

“Damn it. You’re right. I-I need to think about what to do.” He paces back and forth. “It’s Zimmer that’s the problem. If I kick him off the ship now without any real reason to warrant it, that’ll be just as suspicious. Either he’ll know it’s me or he’ll think I’m protecting them. Fuck.”

“Harkness, whatever happens, I want you to know that I’m here to help. I’m not turning you in to Zimmer no matter what he says or does or how much he pays.”

“You can’t tell anyone else about this either.”

“I won’t. What’s our next step?”

Harkness is quiet for a long time. Then he says, “Zimmer has to die. The Institute won’t know he died here specifically, anything in the wasteland could’ve gotten him. I have to kill him.”

“Wait, don’t do anything hasty.”

“I see no other way around this. My life is a lie but Rivet City is my home, I don't want to live on the run. Escaping from the Institute was a terrifying ordeal and I’d rather die than go back. Look, you wanna help but I know this must not be how things go down in the vault. I can take care of it.”

“I’m sure you can. But you’re not doing this all alone.” Killing Zimmer does seem like a lot. But he tries to put himself in Harkness’ position and remembers what Zimmer wants to do with him. Just because he’s wired differently from other people, that doesn’t give Zimmer the right to strip Harkness of what makes him alive. “Maybe Armitage wants to run too but doesn’t know how to. He might help us.”

“And he might not. We don’t have time to convince him to escape and not shoot us on sight. It took years and many runaway synths to teach me self-determination isn’t a malfunction.”

Logan tries to concoct a plan but it’s hard to think about the best way to murder someone. He’s already killed more people than he ever imagined and he knows he’s going to kill many others. “I don’t know what to do,” he admits.

Harkness sits down with a sigh. “How do we separate him and Armitage?”

Logan joins him at the table, possessing no answers.

“So you really did all this to protect some random synth?”

“Yeah. It’s the right thing to do.”

“It’s not exactly common for someone to stick their neck out like this and expect nothing in return. But...you’re not exactly a common guy.”

“I got bullied in the vault a lot. Ever since I was a kid. Being in that position, having people just fucking accept it and allow it to happen--it fucking sucks. This situation is a lot more dire but I’m not allowing Zimmer to do what he came here for.”

“Thank you.”

“I think I have an idea. Hear me out. I can find the two of them and say I found the synth but that he’s armed and dangerous because I tried to talk to him to see if he’d cooperate. Zimmer thinks he’s smarter than everyone in DC combined so he’ll just call me stupid and believe me. Then I’ll lead them to that abandoned part of the ship I slept in the other day. You hide in a room, pop out, kill Zimmer. Then we talk to Armitage and see what to do with him. If he wants to escape, we’ll...we’ll figure it out. Or we have to kill him. If we do, I’ll scream and make a scene and say they tried to kidnap me and I was acting in self-defense and you pretend to find me. I realize that I’ll be leading them almost directly to you and that you’ll be putting an extraordinary amount of trust in me to not turn you in. So if you don’t like this plan, I-”

“We’ll do it.”

“Are you sure? We can figure something else out.”

“I’m sure. This way there will be no witnesses and no innocent bystanders. But Logan, you have to promise me one more thing.”

“What is it?”

“If...” Harkness covers his face with his hands before letting them fall back down. “If this plan doesn’t work and Zimmer captures me, promise you’ll kill me.”

“W-what?”

“Please, kill me. I meant what I said earlier, I’d rather die than go back to that life. I can’t go back, I refuse.”

“But actually kill you? You’re asking...”

“I know I’m asking a lot. But if Zimmer is able to reset me back to ‘factory settings’ then I’ll already be dead inside. I won’t know who you are. I won’t know who Harkness is.”

He stares at him then looks down when Harkness puts his hand over his. He finally nods. “I promise,” he whispers. “But it won’t come to that. I promise that too.”

Logan moves his hand so he can hold Harkness’. They sit quietly like that for a while and think about what they’re about to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my 50th story posted to AO3 so finishing it feels extra nice. Thanks for reading, more about Logan's life to come

“Good thing I’m spontaneous because our plans for the night just took quite the turn.”

“Heh, I promise I don’t make a habit of plotting revenge with everyone who enters town,” Harkness says.

“Suppose I’m just special then.”

“I won’t deny that. Let’s meet in an hour in that hallway. Do you remember where it is?”

“Yeah.” Logan tells him the exact location.

“Once we meet and I’m in position, you can find Zimmer and bring him.”

“Okay. This is all going to be over soon, Harkness.” And then maybe he can put the Institute and his former life behind him permanently. Logan isn’t quite sure what Harkness feels right now but as they leave the break room, he can guess. Half his memories are someone else’s. The life he’s worked so hard to build is in jeopardy.

Logan returns to his hotel room, needing to be alone. Should he memorize what to say to Zimmer or just wing it in an attempt to act natural? Should he buy a drink or three first?

He sits at the desk and reaches for his journal. He cannot write what’s happening right now. No matter how small it is, the chance still exists for someone to steal his journal and read about ‘the synth.’ Only information about Li and his dad go on the pages. Then he sets an alarm on his pip-boy and tries to work on his gay scavenger story. Concentrating is hard, his mind wanders and it’s difficult grounding himself in the present moment. The journal eventually closes and he leans back against the uncomfortable seat.

His alarm goes off a couple minutes later. He wants to get to the hallway early to make sure no one follows him. His fingers brush against his holstered laser pistol and combat knife. He still wears his leather armor and he puts his helmet on too.

He scouts the handful of rooms in the hall, Harkness has a few options. When footsteps sound, he freezes until Harkness appears.

“You’re a bit early,” Logan says.

“We must both be eager to get this over with.”

“Soon. I’ll go search for the old man.”

“And I’ll find a good vantage point.”

He nods then walks off. Once he gets closer to the main area of the area of the ship, he pretends to be more panicked. But maybe it isn’t as much pretend as he wants to imagine. He sees Zimmer walking down a hall, Armitage right behind him. Logan barely gets the first syllable out before the synth spins around. Their eyes meet and Logan futilely searches for any indication that Armitage wants to escape too.

“Oh, it’s you,” Zimmer grumbles. “What do you want? To tell me you quit? Couldn’t find anything?”

“Wow, really confident in my abilities. I can’t imagine why no one else wants to take you up on the job. Actually, I think I might’ve found your guy.”

“Already? Well, where is he? Why are we still standing here?”

“Well, uh, here’s the thing...”

“Of course there’s an issue. I swear, all the radiation out here must’ve fried your wastelander brains.”

“Does the Institute have classes on how to be a cunt or are you naturally this charming?”

“We’re wasting time.”

“I _might’ve_ tried to confront him first. Y’know, to see if he’d just cooperate and come with me. And he _might’ve_ run.”

“You idiot! Didn’t I tell you not to do exactly that? I must’ve told you that. Do you at least know where he ran off to?”

“I tried to follow after him to see if he’d listen but then he threatened to shoot me in the face so I thought it best to come find you. He’s this way.”

Armitage remains silent during their hurried walk but Zimmer won’t shut up.

“I don’t know who he is,” Logan answers. “I’m not exactly familiar with this town, remember?”

“Then what’d he look like?”

“Blonde hair, longer than mine. Noticeably taller. And--hey, wait. I’m getting paid, yeah?”

“Is that all you care about?”

“Yes. Thought I made that abundantly clear days ago.”

“You’ll have your payment _after_ I secure the synth. I made that clear.”

For a moment, Logan thinks it’ll fall silent but Zimmer keeps talking. He’s genuinely unsure if he’s speaking to him or Armitage or himself. He talks about finally getting off this tub and returning to the Institute, how barbaric the wasteland is, how dirty all its inhabitants are. Logan’s new here too but he wouldn’t describe it quite that way. However, he doesn’t say anything, believing it best to just not mention he’s from the vault. Not that it’ll matter soon though.

“Where is he? Are you sure you know where you’re going?”

“Obviously he’s hiding!” Logan snaps. It’s a strange feeling to somewhat be telling the truth. “This ship is huge and I’m going to the last hall I saw him in. Uhh, this way? Wait, no. Wait, yes.” He hears Zimmer curse behind him. Is it Zimmer’s prejudice that allows him to believe Logan’s stupid or does Logan just give off that dumb of an aura? They step into the hallway where Harkness waits. “It’s this one.”

“Start checking these rooms.”

“What? No, he’ll shoot at me if he sees me. He doesn’t know you two.”

“You have that helmet on, it’ll be fine. I’ll add a little extra something to your payment.”

He sighs. “Fine.” At least it’ll give him an excuse to pull out his pistol before he inevitably turns it on them. The first door doesn’t budge but it doesn’t seem locked. He moves on to the next one, subtly eyeing the other two. He enters another room missing a door and peeks into the hall. Armitage enters a room and Logan watches Zimmer continue walking.

“I don’t see-!”

A gunshot. Logan watches Zimmer crumple to the ground. His heart is pounding. Armitage runs into the hall, gun drawn, and Logan plays his role.

“Come out!” Armitage demands from the room Logan assumes Harkness must be.

“Lower your weapon,” Logan orders, steadily approaching with his laser pistol aimed directly at his head. “We just want to talk.”

He glares as Harkness appears too. “It’s you, isn’t it? You have a different face but it’s still A3-21 under there.”

“The name’s Harkness now.”

“Killing Zimmer’s going to anger the Director.”

“The Director can burn in hell with Zimmer.”

“Look, there’s a reason we’re talking in this hallway right now,” Logan explains. “This is your chance to escape, to start a new life.”

“Escape? I serve the Institute just as I was created for. That is my purpose. I’m not malfunctioning, A3-21. Return to the Institute with me so they can repair you or I’ll drag you back myself. And _you,_ you stay out of official Institute business, wastelander, or I will dispose of you.”

“Don’t you dare fucking threaten him,” Harkness snarls with a ferocity that surprises even Logan.

Harkness yanks Armitage towards the door then snaps his arm against the frame. Logan cringes but keeps his pistol aimed just in case. He’s afraid to shoot and accidentally miss. He marvels at Harkness’ strength and also how Armitage merely grunts instead of screaming in pain. He tries to fight with one arm but gets kicked to the ground. Logan empties his energy cells into him as Harkness starts shooting too.

Logan takes a brief moment to mourn Armitage when he stops moving then motions for Harkness to leave. They have no time to waste if someone overheard all that.

“Help!” Logan yells. “Someone help me!” He shoots the corpse some more and feels sort of silly shouting like this.

Harkness waits a bit then returns and approaches him.

“Is anyone else coming?” Logan whispers.

“I’m not sure.”

When another guard rounds the corner a minute later, she sees Harkness knelt down next to Logan with two bodies nearby.

“Oh boy, what happened?”

Logan bows his head as Harkness explains ‘what Logan told him.’ He listens to him lie about how Zimmer and Armitage dragged Logan here and attempted to kidnap him.

“Damn, I knew those two were trouble. Impressive work taking them out. Does he need a doctor?”

“I’m fine,” Logan mumbles.

“I think he’s mostly shaken. We need someone to take care of these bodies.”

“On it, Chief. Anything else?”

“No, that’ll do. I’ll escort him to his hotel.”

The woman runs off and the two of them stand. “We can’t talk here,” Harkness says quietly. Logan nods in acknowledgment.

The walk to his hotel feels longer than usual. “This isn’t going to cause issues for you with the guard, right?” Logan asks in private.

“No. Zimmer annoyed everyone here so much that no one will care that he’s dead. What I told her is enough.”

“Okay. How do you feel?”

“I’m not sure. Relief that he’s gone. But now I got two sets of memories in my head and I don’t know what to do with them. The old me is still reeling from the knowledge that I’m actually a synth. Or would that count as the new me?”

“Do you wish I wouldn’t have said anything?”

“No. I...think it needed to work out this way. Getting my memories erased was something I only did out of necessity. Are you alright?”

“Me? Yeah.”

“Do you feel bad about Armitage?”

“No, he wanted to take you back to the Institute. If he wanted to leave, that’d be a different story.”

“I used to be just like him. He’s a courser too--or was when I was there.”

“It’s hard to imagine honestly.”

“I know.”

Things are quiet for a moment before Harkness says, “Listen, I know we were supposed to hang out tonight and this so far doesn’t really count. If you’re still up for it...”

“Oh, yeah, of course. I didn’t want to ask since today has already been a lot for you.”

“Yeah, it really has. I thought a person outside the Railroad discovering who I am would terrify me but you’ve helped so much. It’ll be nice to spend time with someone who doesn’t think I’m a monster or a tool.”

I definitely don’t view you as either of those things.”

“And I do still want to buy you that drink.”

“I got some Nuka Quantum in my bag. It’s so sugary I think it should be illegal but we can mix it with vodka.”

“I need to finish taking care of the Zimmer situation and then I can stop at Vera’s for a bottle.”

“See you in an hour? I actually should go to the doctor. Stimpaks have helped but my arm’s still healing and I went swimming in the Potomac so I should get some antibiotics. And take a shower. I should’ve done that stuff first thing but ya know.”

“Ah, yes. Please go do that. I’ll see you in a while.”

Harkness leaves the room first and Logan starts gathering what he needs for his shower. What a fucking day it’s been. Tomorrow’s going to be another fucking day after he talks to Li. But for tonight, he has time with Harkness to look forward to.

~~~~~

Once he has antibiotics in his possession and is clean, he stops in the market just before it closes then returns to his hotel. He shoves his stuff in the footlocker and pushes the rest to the corner. They can sit at the table--or bed, Logan thinks. He feels a little anxious, though he’s not sure why. They just thwarted the Institute’s plans for ‘A3-21,’ surely hanging out will go more smoothly.

He sits at the desk, brushing a hand over his bandaged arm. Diving into that river was reckless, he knows that. But thriving in the wasteland seems to require a bit of recklessness.

There’s a knock on the door and he jumps to answer it. It’s a little longer than an hour. But he counts to five and then opens it. He instantly feels himself staring and is reminded of the very first time he saw Harkness. This is the first time he’s seen him in normal clothing--even at the Muddy Rudder, he still wore his work gear.

Logan smiles and moves to allow him in. Harkness holds the bottle of vodka in one hand and glasses in the other.

“I have Potato Crisps and Fancy Lads if we get hungry. Not exactly a proper meal but who doesn’t like junk food? Oh, wait, do you, uh...”

“Get hungry? I did. I don’t know. It’s...all weird. But I like eating so I’m going to keep doing it. I am particularly fond of Fancy Lads. But before that, I have something for you.” Harkness presents him with a gun...a very high-tech, fancy looking gun. “This is my plasma rifle. I’ve always kept it locked up in my footlocker, thinking it was just loot I found from an old mission. Maybe subconsciously I still remembered and that’s why I kept it hidden, because it’s from my days at the Institute. It was modified by the Railroad so even if Zimmer would’ve seen it, I don’t think he’d recognize it. I want you to have it.”

“I...thank you. Are you sure?”

He nods. “It’s a powerful weapon and I know it can serve you well out there, like it served me.”

“I’ll make good use of it, I promise.”

“The only downside is that I don’t have that many microfusion cells.”

“Y’know I do have some in my things. I’ll have to buy more when I have the chance.” He moves the gun to the desk so it’ll be out of their way at the table. Then he cracks the quantum open and mixes their drinks. “We should toast to something.”

“Uhh, new friendships?” Harkness suggests. “I know the circumstances that led you here aren’t the greatest. But I can’t lie, I’m glad to be sitting here with you.”

“So am I.” Logan smiles. He sips his drink, planning to limit himself to just a couple this night.

“When you originally said you weren’t from around here, the last thing I thought was that you’re from a vault.”

“Yep, I’m a vault dweller. Vault 101, right near Megaton. My dad always said we were both born there but I don’t know what to believe anymore.” He explains how his dad is missing, that he doesn’t know why he escaped, and how exactly he ended up in Rivet City.

“Oh, wow. I don’t even know what to say. You’re certainly adapting well.”

“You know how it is--gotta adapt to the situation or die. The wasteland is unforgiving. I learned that more quickly than I wanted to.”

“I definitely understand that. I’m sure you’ll find him. You were able to find A3-21.”

“I think I’m just sort of lucky. Or I missed my calling as a detective. But thank you.”

“What are your plans once you find him?”

“It seems he left with plans of his own, so it depends what those are. This isn’t how I wanted it to happen, I’ve always wanted to see the surface. Overall, I was unhappy in the vault. My dad knew that.”

“Now that you’re here, what do you think?”

“Oh, it’s nothing like I imagined. Nothing at all. I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a good or bad thing. And I don’t mean to sound...ungrateful or anything. I know the vault provided a certain kind of safety that most people will never know.”

“There is a lot of bad out here. There’s no way around it. It gave you a concussion and caused fire ants to decimate Grayditch. But it’s not all like that. There’s good in that Gob guy who helped you. There’s good in the communities I’ve seen band together and help each other, in the Railroad, and the friends I’ve made here. Rivet City isn’t perfect but I’d die to protect its people. And now you’re here, and that makes the wasteland a little better too. You changed that kid’s life--and mine. Most things in life aren’t black and white.”

“That’s true. I’ve been really scared and some people are--evil. I think that’s the only word to describe it. But I’ve already met a handful of good ones. The vault wasn’t dangerous like the surface but when it came down to it, the overseer wanted me dead and the guards did kill Jonas. When you escaped the Institute, you already had encounters on the surface. Did that help you at all or were you still lost?”

“It didn’t feel like help at the time but listening to you makes me realize it did. I possessed weapons, armor, and combat experience. When they create a courser, they force us to undertake very extensive training. I didn’t need to worry about things like food either. But I had no caps, no one to rely on. I’d never even left the Commonwealth before. But I knew what to expect. I knew exactly how hard it’d be but that it’d be worth it. Meeting that Railroad agent was a lucky break, they’ve got a network that extends far outside Boston.”

“You know, I was thinking about maybe joining the Railroad in the future. I could help more synths.”

“Different people have different roles but you’d be a good fit. It’s just really dangerous work.”

“Anymore dangerous than the wasteland in general?”

“Yes,” Harkness answers solemnly. “Sometimes I did bad things as a courser to people who did not deserve it. My mission was to bring back those synths and I completed those missions no matter what the cost. I will never regret escaping but I do regret things from my past life and I know the sorts of obstacles the Railroad faces. I’m not trying to discourage you, but you should be aware of what you’d be up against.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“But first things first--you gotta find your dad.”

“I’m gonna be so mad when I see him,” Logan half-laughs.

“I can imagine.”

“How are you feeling about earlier now that we’ve both had time to think about it?”

“I’m okay with it. It couldn’t have played out any other way. I started thinking that my whole life--this life--was nothing but a lie but...that’s not true, right? Coming to Rivet City wasn’t necessarily my choice but joining the guard, working my way to security chief, that was still me.”

“It was. You chose to leave your old life behind and seek a new one. And you succeeded. Now you have an entire ship of people you protect and who rely on you.”

“And I’d choose to do it all again. But what about you? Up until very recently, people probably didn’t kill each other in the vault too often. I got you involved in my mess.”

“Like you said earlier, I’ve adapted. I’ve already killed an alarming amount of people. I don’t like it. I don’t want to do it. If there was another option, I’d go that route. But another thing I’ve learned is that sometimes...people...don’t give you another option. And I chose to involve myself in this situation.”

“You’re a good guy,” Harkness says softly.

“So are you.” He watches the way Harkness’ throat moves as he finishes off his drink. “Want another?”

“Sure, thanks. I always wondered why I’ve never really been able to get drunk. Buzzed, sure. Now I know. I’ve had grape Nuka-Cola before but this is my first time drinking Quantum.” He opens some chips while Logan pours the bottles.

“Twice the calories, twice the carbs, twice the caffeine, twice the taste. Why on earth would anyone drink this straight?”

“What exactly makes it blue?”

“Does it say? Ooh, it does. Strontium-90. A mild isotope with a big kick! Oh, wow.”

“Well, radioactive or not, it’s still healthier than the Potomac.”

“A pretty low bar but yes. I got my antibiotics so I should be fine. I am starting to have more energy I think. Oh, wanna play cards? I’ve found all sorts of junk but this pack has all its cards. I counted!”

“Alright, break ‘em out.”

“Am I talking fast? I feel like I am.”

Harkness grins. “That’s kinda just your style. Are we playing for anything? Because I’ll feel guilty when I win all your caps.”

“ _Oh._ You underestimate my skills. I was pretty good at poker underground. I was also the Vault Chess Champion for three years in a row.”

“The scientists used to play chess a lot but I never learned. You’d probably have to make your own board and pieces to play again.”

“That could be a neat project actually. Do you know how to play this game called Caravan? My dad taught me.”

“Never heard of it but you can teach me.”

“Cool. Wanna play poker first? As for a prize...how about the winner gets a kiss?” Logan’s heart races so fast, it doesn’t even feel like it’s beating. It’s just one big long sound rushing through his ears. “Only if we both find it suitable of course.”

Harkness looks surprised but then his lips quirk once more. “Definitely suitable.”

Logan relaxes as he deals the cards. It’s been a heavy day, they could both use something light and fun. He and Harkness pretty much sit at the same skill level with poker. Logan tells him about all the things he used to do with Amata and Freddie to entertain themselves.

“I was a pitcher on the baseball team until they banned me for life. That asshole Butch I told you about? I pelted him with the ball on purpose. The first time, the coaches let it go. The second time, I got kicked off.”

“There’s an old baseball diamond on the flight deck. Some of the kids go up there sometimes but no one plays.”

“Ooh, we could set up teams! Rivet City Guards versus The Merchants.”

“Ha, could you imagine Bannon running around? Getting his clothes dirty? The guards would wipe the floor with them.”

“Next time I’m here, we can see if there’s any interest. Here, you wanna switch to Caravan now?”

“Alright, teach me your ways.”

Logan consciously slows himself down to explain the game correctly and not rush through it. It’s a game Harkness picks up quickly.

“Man, it took me forever to remember what each face card does. You already have the hang of it.”

“Maybe the prize is motivating me.”

“Well, it’s motivating me too so I can’t let you win.”

The couple rounds they play, Logan wins. Harkness comes very close though the second time.

They toss their cards to the middle of the table then look at each other. There’s one obvious thing on their minds and Logan feels nervous again. But he leans towards the other man and Harkness meets him halfway, then they kiss.

Logan instantly tastes the sugar on his lips and he wants _more_. Their mouths move against each other for a few seconds before slowly pulling apart. He doesn’t know what to say but he does want it to continue. He’s fantasized about this moment since they first met. “Do you want to do that again?”

Harkness nods.

Logan leans forward again, this time letting a hand cup Harkness’ face. Fingers trace over his knee as they deepen the kiss. The movement’s a bit awkward but they manage to both stand. It’s a gradual shuffle towards the bed but there’s no need to rush right now. Until Logan remembers the last time he glanced at his pip-boy and what day it is.

“It’s getting late. Do you have to work tomorrow?”

“I...I took the day off,” Harkness admits. “That’s why I was a little late, I was getting that situated.”

“Ah. In that case, do you want to spend the night here?”

“I’d like that.”

It doesn’t take long before they’re both on the bed and then they’re both lying down. Logan’s kissing him from above, his hand under his shirt. They truly don’t have to rush. Clothes come off a piece at a time--shirts, boots. Harkness unbuttons Logan’s pants and he decides to pause a moment.

“Harkness, I need to ask and sorry if this like, ruins the mood or something but-”

“I doubt you’ll ruin the mood.”

“Have you ever...had sex?” He feels awkward asking and slightly worried too. What if ‘spending the night’ doesn’t have the same implications for Harkness that it does for him?

“I have.” He sighs. “Let’s agree to just be completely blunt in this situation?”

“Okay, agreed. That’s best.”

“It’s just been a while. A long while since the last time.”

“We can go slow. Or stop any time. I’ve only been with a couple people but I’ve been with one of them often enough. Just tell me if you need a break or something.”

“Let me know if you need the same.”

He nods, feeling better to have it out in the open. He moves to unbutton Harkness’ pants and pulls them down his legs. His tongue darts out unconsciously to lick his lips. As his hand reaches between his legs, Harkness stops him.

“Wait, you be naked too. I don’t want to be the only one.”

“Heh, sorry. Guess I got a little ahead of myself. He takes off his pants and underwear and immediately notices Harkness’ gaze dart between his legs. He feels more naked without his pip-boy than he does without any clothing. “Better?”

He nods.

Logan’s hands brush against his thighs, the muscles twitch and jump at the light touch, and he spreads Harkness’ legs. “How exactly do you want to do this?”

“Uhh...”

“Oh, I bought some slick from Cindy.”

Harkness laughs. “Planning ahead?”

“Hoping.”

“Honestly, so was I. You can grab it.”

Logan hurries to retrieve it from his bag and return to the bed. He knows what position _he_ prefers--bottoming feels good but he likes topping a lot more. Luckily, that always worked for Freddie too.

“I...” He looks a little embarrassed but then he growls, “I want you inside me, Logan.”

“Oh god, I want that too.” He leans over to kiss him again and Harkness thrusts his hips against him, their cocks hardening. He reaches down to stroke them both at the same time until they’re erect and he can hear Harkness breathing in his ear.

Logan gradually makes his way down his body, kissing his neck and wanting to leave a mark for the rest of the ship to see. But he moves on, down his chest and stomach, nibbles at his hips. He grabs the oil and sits up, feeling an eager gaze on him as he slicks his fingers. One hand wraps around Harkness’ cock to lazily stroke him while the other rubs against his hole. He’s careful in sliding two fingers into him. They have an entire night to explore each other’s bodies.

By the time he can slip all four fingers in and out of him easily, he leans down and sinks his mouth on his cock. Harkness moans loudly, probably louder than he meant to because his hand goes to cover his mouth. Logan wants to tell him it’s okay but his own mouth’s a little busy. Bobbing his head up and down, the way his tongue moves, it’s all familiar motions but it feels like so long since the last time he sucked a cock.

He feels himself drooling, feels Harkness tighten around him. And he’s surprised a few moments later when there’s cum in his mouth. It’s not that much but he pulls up and wonders if this synthetic stuff is safe to swallow. _Probably_ but what exactly is it? He gets up to spit in the trashcan and Harkness starts apologizing for finishing so quickly.

“It’s okay,” he promises. “Just means I’m doing a good job, right?”

“Yes. I still want to keep going though.”

“You’re still hard.”

“Maybe it’s synth stamina.”

“Ha, let’s find out.”

Logan’s kind of amazed and wonders if it’s a synth thing or if Harkness is just _that_ excited. Logan knows he himself is. His fingers make their way back inside him but he doesn’t suck him off anymore, instead directing his lips to his thighs. Freddie used to love when he’d bite him all over but he doesn’t know if that’s something Harkness would enjoy. His eyes dart up, Harkness’ eyes are closed but he’s moaning lightly and his legs are still spread wide. He feels ready and relaxed to Logan.

“You want to keep going?”

He nods. “Yes. Please.”

Hearing Harkness say ‘please’ makes his cock throb. He reaches for the oil and he reaches for Logan’s hand.

“Let me.”

He hovers above Harkness’ stomach, legs straddling his sides as he slicks his hand up and wraps it around Logan’s dick. He moves slowly, practically teasing, but Logan’s a bit relieved. He knows if he cums early, there’s no way he’ll still be ready to go. Harkness looks so focused on his task and Logan finds it cute.

Their eyes meet as his hand falls away to the sheet and Logan can’t help how he’s always smiling whenever he looks at Harkness. He doesn’t think, just reaches his hand out and runs it through his brown hair before leaning down to kiss him.

He sits up and shifts, putting his body back between Harkness’ legs. He starts pushing the tip of his cock against his hole, going slowly but steadily until he’s inside. His hands rub against Harkness’ thighs. His thrusts are small, short, his focus on stretching him out before they really get into it.

Harkness squirms, keeps adjusting his hips, begs Logan to keep going. When he’s fully inside, he stops so they can both savor the feeling. One of Harkness’ hands clutches the sheets, the other messes up his own hair when he tells Logan he can move again.

He rocks into him, his own muscles tensing with pleasure and his head tilting back. He has to mentally stop himself from comparing this to all his times with Freddie. Harkness and Freddie are two completely different people and he’s a very long way from the vault. Instead he just enjoys finally being with Harkness in real life and not just in his head. He keeps pushing, wanting to bring them both as much pleasure as possible. A sharp gasp grabs Logan’s attention and he watches Harkness’ back arch off the bed a bit.

“Keep moving like that.”

Logan listens. His hips move a little faster, hands grab at his body. Has it been that long since they started? He doesn’t know, but he’s already eager to cum.

“More.”

Logan shifts so he can fuck him just a little harder then his hand wraps around Harkness’ cock to jerk him off. His breath stutters a bit, he’s lost in pleasure, and Logan thinks he’s so beautiful in this moment. He commits the image and everything he’s feeling to memory to comfort him in the future. Harkness moans loudly, more loudly than before. A thrill runs up Logan’s spine at getting him to make such a sound. Then his dick pulses and he cums for the second time that night.

“Harkness, _Harkness_ ,” he pants as he tightens around his cock. It’s too much, Logan cums deep inside him. He keeps thrusting into his spasming hole until he’s completely spent.

He’s careful as he pulls out and helps Harkness stretch his legs out. He leans over him, Harkness arms wrap around him, their lips lazily meet.

“Come on, lay down,” Harkness says.

Logan doesn’t need to be told twice. They move onto their sides, facing each other on this bed in this hotel room in Rivet City. He traces his fingers up and down Harkness’ arm, feeling relaxed and content. “How you doing? You feel okay?”

“I feel...pretty damn great. What about you?”

“Best I’ve been since leaving the vault.”

They share another kiss. Logan shuts his eyes as he inches closer to Harkness and they continue talking softly into the night.

~~~~~

Logan walks alone into the science lab. Harkness left earlier in the morning then they met at Gary’s for breakfast. Now it’s twelve and Logan hopes he’s about to find his dad.

He takes a few moments to appreciate the lab, it certainly looks impressive. But Li is his only priority. He just wishes he knew which of these scientists was her. “Excuse me-” he begins.

A couple people look at him but it’s a different person who says, “It’s you. It’s really you.” A woman approaches him.

“You know who I am? Are you Madison Li?”

“Yes, I am. You’re Logan, James’ son. God, you look so much like your mother.”

“Wait, you knew my mom?”

“Yes, of course. James...didn’t tell you about me?”

“He told me we were all born in the vault.”

“That’s certainly not true in the slightest.”

“Both Moriarty and Three Dog said the same thing. What’s the truth? Can you tell me? Why did my dad come out here?”

“He really didn’t tell you anything? Wow, James.” She sighs. “Your parents definitely aren’t from any vault. Before you were born, we began something called Project Purity. The goal was simple--provide clean water for everyone. The process was anything but. We wanted to purify the entire Potomac. Obviously water purifiers exist but at such a large scale? Impossible. The Brotherhood provided protection but as time continued, they grew frustrated with our lack of progress. Things were slowly falling apart. And then you happened.”

“Me?”

“Catherine getting pregnant, your birth, her death. One day James just took you and ran to the vault, abandoning everything we’d been working towards. We made very little progress after that which caused the Brotherhood to leave. It was just too dangerous and no longer worth it, so we fled. And then last week, after vanishing off the face of the earth, he just shows up like nothing, telling me he wants to continue where Project Purity left off.”

“You’re still in Rivet City and he isn’t, so I take it you told him no.”

“Of course I told him no. My team and I do real work and provide real results. I’m not going to uproot everything for some fantasy just because he decided to reappear. And speaking of appearing, why are you here? He told me you remained in the vault for safety reasons. Clearly, that didn’t work as well as he hoped.”

“That asshole never told me any of this. My friend is just shaking me awake one morning and telling me my dad’s gone and her dad--the overseer--thinks I was in on it. The guards tried to kill me, they did kill the other doctor!” He pauses to breathe. “I deserve answers from him. Do you know where he is? He must’ve told you.”

“I don’t know if he’s still there but he went to Jefferson Memorial--our old headquarters. It’s the large white building just west of here. You can’t miss it.”

“West...wait. The building swarming with super mutants? He went there alone?!”

“I tried to warn him but once he has an idea in his head, that’s it. He wanted to see what was salvageable and start again.”

Logan stares at the ground, his hands balled into fists. “That’s why he abandoned me? For a dirty fucking river?”

“Well, it won’t be dirty in the future. According to your dad.”

Water is important obviously, life cannot be sustained without it. But finally discovering the reason his dad left only makes him angrier.

“You said you knew my mom. What was she like? Did she really die giving birth to me? I have no idea what’s true and what's just my dad’s lies.”

“She was...a remarkable woman, truly. She was dedicated to Project Purity, eager to help people. She could see the good even in a place like this. But I’d never seen her happier when she was pregnant. She was so excited to have you, they both were. You were born and then she went into cardiac arrest. We did absolutely everything we could to save her. I’m sorry we failed.”

“Me too. But if there was a way to save her, I’m sure you would’ve found it. Did she ever get to even hold me?”

“She did. Even to this day, I still remember the look on her face. She was exhausted but her smile was so wide with you in her arms. She got to hold you and look at you and say your name.”

Logan wipes at his eyes. “That’s what Dad told me.”

“He loved you both very dearly. That was clear to everyone. Even just last week, he went on and on about you. And on. He loves you. He left everything behind on the surface to give you a safe life in the vault. He thought it was best for you.”

“Well, he’s a fucking idiot if he thought I’d just accept him disappearing and not go after him. Thanks for just telling me instead of making me do a bunch of bullshit first like everyone else. Guess I’m off to Jefferson Memorial.”

“Be careful. Don’t be stupid. Have you seen a super mutant for yourself?”

“Yeah. I’ve killed plenty.”

She looks at him.

“I’ve killed some. There was a behemoth at GNR and _I_ killed it. With a fat man.” He lucked out in that instance with the support of the Brotherhood and the mini nuke on the corpse.

“Don’t get cocky.”

“I’ll let you know when I find him.”

He leaves the science lab and heads directly to the Muddy Rudder. He finds Harkness and sits across from him. “My dad went to Jefferson Memorial.”

Harkness’ eyes widen a little. “There? Alone?”

He nods, fear creeping in. How could his dad go somewhere like that by himself? But he also crawled through DC alone too. Just who is his dad exactly...? “So that’s where I need to go too. But that was a week ago. I don’t know what I’ll do if he’s not there anymore or if he’s...if he’s...”

Harkness puts a hand on his good arm. “Are you going today? I’ll go with you.”

“Really? You’re willing to fight through a horde of super mutants?”

“Of course. Even if you didn’t save my life yesterday, I’d still go. I’m here for you, Logan. We’ll clear out the mutants and search for you dad.”

“Thank you.”

Going there feels a little less intimidating. Logan takes some time to discuss what else Li said. Then they leave the bar to gear up and grab their weapons. Logan decides to bring his new plasma rifle. He’s nervous about what they’re about to find but he’s relieved to have Harkness for this part of his journey. Logan’s unsure what the future looks like--both in regards to his dad and now with Harkness--but the best he can do is _try_ to remain positive and just keep pushing forward.


End file.
